Monday, 21 October 2013

Don't Make Fun Of The Fair


We're proud to say, in every way, we're ordinary folk
But please observe we still preserve our sturdy hearts of oak
Although as servants of the state, we may have been coerced
We've been told to celebrate - we'll celebrate - or burst
But while we brag our shoulders sag beneath a heavy yolk
We all get terribly heated if its treated as a joke - so -

Don't make fun of the festival, don't make fun of the fair
We downtrodden British must learn to be skittish
and give an impression of devil may care to the wide, wide world
We'll sing God for Harry and if turns out alright, knight Gerald Barry
Clear the national decks, my lads, every one of us counts
Grab the travellers cheques, my lads, and pray that none of them bounce
Face the future undismayed, pray for further Marshall aid,
Have the toast from 'Cavalcade' drastically rewritten
Peace and dignity we may lack, but wave a jolly Trade Union Jack
Hurrah for the Festival Of Britain!

We've never been exactly keen on showing off or swank
But as they say the gay display means money in the bank
We'll make the dreadful welcome ring from Penge to John O'Groats
And cheer and shout and laugh and sing - before we cut our throats
We know we're caught but must support this patriotic prank
And though we'd rather have shot ourselves we've got ourselves to thank - so -

Don't make fun of the festival, don't make fun of the fair
We must pull together in spite of the weather 
that dampens our spirits and straightens our hair
Let the people sing, even though they shiver
Roses red and noses mauve over the river
Though the areas fairly small, climb Discovery's Dome
Take a snooze in the Concert Hall, at least it's warmer than home
Blow your trumpets, roll your drums - cross your fingers, hold your thumbs
Even if nobody comes, don't be conscience smitten
If no embassy trade appears, we'll to work for a thousand years
To pay for the Festival of Britain...


Part of NOEL COWARD's somewhat snidey tribute to The Festival Of Britain. Noel was suffering the post war deprivations of living in the West Indies at the time... 



1 comment:

  1. So many Royal Weddings, Jubilees, Olympics and so on that this could apply to.

    "We know we're caught but must support this patriotic prank
    And though we'd rather have shot ourselves we've got ourselves to thank" Or the Daily Mail, anyway.

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