Mention the word 'London England' to any bloody foreigner and they'll immediately think of Big Ben's bell, the crystal clear waters of the Thames, Dick Van Dyke, and deranged sexual predators sticking knives etc into beautiful young swinging ladies.
*I must begin by stating just how difficult I found this project. 'Night After Night After Night' is an old favourite of mine, and only being allowed to watch the first quarter of the film was a deeply unsatisfactory experience. But the rules of the game must be obeyed, as I've been threatened with the rough side of Glimmung's slipper again.
The film begins with a murky shot of the Thames, and a young couple canoodling in the gloom. Suddenly, the bloke leaves the girl on her own, and within seconds a leather-clad killer is knifing her to death. Good job the man decided to abandon his girlfriend when he did, or he could have been next. What a stroke of luck !
This is a case for Inspector Bill Rowan (played by Lindsay Shonteff regular Gilbert Wynne) who has a stunningly attractive wife (Linda 'Big Zapper' Marlowe), and the detective skills of a blind idiot. Three rape murders have already taken place, and Rowan is determined to solve this quickly before the killer strikes again. The last thing Rowan wants is for this to keep happening night after night after night.
Now we meet Judge Charles Lomax (played by the excellent Jack May), who's tough on rape, and tough on the causers of rape. They need a "hard lesson", and that's just what he gives them. Dishing out sentences of anything up to five years, and not listening to any lefty bullshit from the counsel for the accused. This judge lives for justice, and obviously has the moral fibre of a saint. He'd never upset, or fondle a lady, kill any women, wear lipstick, or look at dirty books. He is the law !
"you will go to prison for five years"
But Judge Lomax's assistant is clearly unhinged; he does read dirty books, and launches into a tirade against contraceptives, women who walk the streets half-naked "asking for it", and orange juice (?). Could he be the secret sex killer ?
Meanwhile, inspector Rowan is hot on the trail, and has placed leather jacket wearing sex pest Pete (played by 'dirty' Donald Sumpter) under arrest without bothering to gather any evidence against him. But Pete is an openly lecherous shag-about-town, and a cocky bastard, so it doesn't really matter. Pete keeps taunting Rowan, and talks only about "banging birds". Could he be the secret sex killer as well ?
By the way, this is what the modern policewoman was wearing back in 1969.
Could she be the secret sex killer ?
The official M&C rules meant that I had to switch the film off at this point, leaving the image of Linda Marlowe receiving oral sex, burned into my eyes. I've been unable to operate machinery since, and my life has already started to crumble apart. My drug intake has doubled, and the strange couple who run the village post office have refused to serve me.
These feelings of unfulfilled desire are probably the same ones that drive men to cross dress, fondle and kill. You have been warned !