Friday, 21 December 2012

She'll Follow You Anywhere

'She’ll Follow You Anywhere' is a strange one, a smutter that is generally quite serious in tone and makes an attempt to present a coherent drama, as well as have genuine characters rather than crass caricatures. That said, it is about an aftershave that makes women want to shag, so it’s not exactly ‘A Long Day’s Journey Into Night’.

Barron & Cope, Mad Parfumiers to Mankind.

The Magic Potion.

It's working at work.
Kenneth Cope and Keith Barron play a pair of chemists working in the perfume industry who inadvertently invent a scent that drives women crackers and leads to immediate sex. As scientists, they need to test the efficacy of the product under controlled conditions; as randy 70’s men they do this by setting up a shag pad in an old military barracks, festooned with fairy lights and fully stocked with miniature bottles of liqueurs and cans of pale ale.

The depths of sophistication.

Don't spill any, Keith!

Keith Barron's actual line is 'Phwoar! SEX!'

Kenneth copes with the shameless Collinson twins.

Now here in lies the problem – the aftershave doesn’t attract women to the actual wearer, rather it makes them think that the wearer is someone they desire: a loved one, George Best, Ted Heath (good luck with that one) and, in the case of an attractive blond German lady, Adolf Hitler. When a dog sniffs it, for instance, he imagines he’s looking at a sexy Afghan Hound instead of Keith Barron, and sticks his tongue into Keith’s gob. To his credit, Keith clearly isn’t interested. So, what we have is an artificial means of confusing women to lower their inhibitions that wears off leaving them with no recollection of what has happened. Congratulations, lads, you’ve just invented Rohypnol!

Dirty Dulux!

The boys get so caught up in their research that they begin to neglect their wives and their work and their fantastically typical 1970's suburban homes.

Fantastically typical 1970's suburban home.
It's all a stark contrast from their earlier experiences where, not having made the link between the perfume and their sudden irresistibility, they were left cowering in corners or being chased around train toilets by smitten ladies wanting immediate gratification (Keith Barron is particularly good at conveying the abject terror of being sexually harassed, using a small, frightened, wheedling voice to whimper ‘what are you doing, love?’, ‘what do you think you’re doing?’ as a blonde in her bra and pants tries to unzip his trousers).

A form of stalking.

The glamour of the railways.

Making headlines.

When French stick was exotic AND erotic.

Even Richard Vernon gets dragged into it. 
It all ends, as you might as guessed, with the existing stocks of the scent being destroyed and an experimental new batch turning Kenneth Cope temporarily gay, just in time for the fella's wives to catch them in an awkward embrace.

'This isn't what it looks like! Actually, it is!'

Quite dogged in terms of working out the details of the story, the film is well made and presented without any of the usual cheery hysteria and excessive winking associated with the genre. This applies to the actors, too, who resist the urge to mug and do a load of unfunny running about. Keith Barron in particular plays the role dead straight, seemingly ignoring the normal panto type performance in order to provide a real character, albeit one in a ridiculous situation.
There is lots of implied smut, but virtually no dirt whatsoever. You only actually get to see one breast, and it belongs to one of the Collinson twins so that hardly counts – they’d have got ‘em out on ‘Playschool’, dirty cows. it's so tame, it's hard to believe it was given an 'X' certificate but, clearly, it was.

I won’t watch it again, but I found it painless and enjoyable and, as a one off experience, a refreshing change of pace. I don’t rate these things, but, if I did, I’d give it nine out of twelve.  

POSTSCRIPT: Inspired by their roles in this film, Kenneth Cope and Keith Barron continued making perfumes, albeit on a part time, strictly as a hobby basis. Their most famous scent to date is 'Titanium Target', but they have high hopes for an aftershave currently under development which they are calling 'Fanny Magnet'.  

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