Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Adventures of A Plumbers Mate

'Adventures of A Plumbers Mate' is the third and (thankfully?) final film in Stanley Long's epic 'Adventures' trilogy series, once again featuring Christopher Neil in the title role. Marginally less star-studded than the previous outing 'Adventures of A Private Eye' , but far more entertaining in my addled opinion.

The opening tracking shot, which slowly reveals the delights of Sid South's grimy flat, resembles something out of 'Death Line', momentarily fooling me into thinking I was in for yet another evening of 1970's British horror heaven.

                                                        your 'five-a-day' in 1978

But the saucy tone was quickly set during a delightful series of motorcycle related accidents, all caused by the special gentleman-distracting outfit worn by the attractive lady passenger.

Regular viewers of 1970's sex comedies will already be familiar with the trusted 'villain's toilet seat made out of stolen gold' storyline, and it's used here with all the traditional elements included:

*brutal convict released from prison
*brutal convict gets immediately drunk at the first pub he sees
*brutal convict returns home to find his solid gold toilet seat has been removed by a plumbers mate
*brutal convict is upset with his wife for the mix up 

Add to this the financial mess that Sid South has got himself into with the local gangster (Arthur Mullard), who regularly turns up to remind Sid he has a week to pay his debts or else they'll jam a broken stop cock up his u-bend (plumbing humour). In steps Willie Rushton, who offers Sid a variety of flawed criminal endeavours to generate some quick filthy lucre.

Now the scene is set for the standard issue mixture of women's clothes being ripped off by waste disposal units, limbs broken by hulking she-males in massage parlors, gay men accidentally getting objects stuck up their bottoms, and Christopher Biggins arriving with a blow-up doll.

'It's not what it looks like...'
A naked woman goes down on Biggins for the first and last time...

Extra points scored for the appearance of sex siren stunner Suzy Mandel, but I have to stress the crushing dissapointment I felt when Sid's girlfriend -played by Elaine Paige- didn't manage to lose her clothing at any stage of the film.

A wasted opportunity.

It's also a great shame that Diana Dors didn't feature in this one. She's a horrible ranting cow in the first two instalments of the series, but always worth looking at, and easily forgiven for anything.

So yes, it's cheap, and often numbingly predictable, but unusually gritty in places and there's rarely a dull moment. I can't agree with the dreadful reputation these films have earned, and find 'Plumbers Mate' to be the best of the two films featuring Christopher Neil.

More toilet humour.
'I'll get you Butlarrrggghhh!'
If I owned a passport, this would be the photograph.


  1. such innocent days!!!!!!

  2. The girl on the back of the motor bike was actress Nina West