Sunday, 13 May 2012

Prehistoric Filth

A couple of years ago I visited the Naturhistorisches Museum in Vienna, where among its many treasures resides the Venus of Willendorf. Estimated to be at least 24,000 years old, this small statuette is probably a paleolithic fertility symbol, with an emblematic anatomy including enlarged breasts and pudendum. Predating the Venus of mythology by millennia, the figure's head is covered by what might be plaited hair or a head dress.

This artifact is proof that primitive man admired the fuller-figured female or 'bbw' in modern parlance, and why not? She's wonderful!

This Venus is also, of course, the earliest example of a liberated European, uninhibited about her body in a manner quite alien to the repressed inhabitants of the British Isles. This tradition is encouraged among the younger generation of Austria. When school parties visit the museum the kids get creative and model their own delightfully colourful versions of Ms Willendorf.

I wonder what British kids would come up with in such a situation? Clay Katie Price cleavage or a plasticine Pippa Middleton posterior? One can already see the headlines - Ban this Prehistoric Filth!

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