Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Never Wear Your Wellies In The House


Never Wear Your Wellies In The House


If you want to be silent as a mouse,
Or jump as high as any little house,
You must nibble lots of cheese,
Say “Hello” to passing fleas
And never wear your wellies in the house.

Stick your neck out just as far as a giraffe,
Be eccentric and you’ll make others laugh
But except when you’re alone
When of course you’ll feel at home
You should never wear your knickers in the bath.

If you don’t want to lie awake in fear and dread,
Or have nightmares all in horrid shades of red,
Nor have your crumbs just everywhere,
Twixt your toes and in your hair,
You must never take a currant bun to bed.

If you want to be as silent as a mouse,
Or jump as high as any little house,
You must nibble lots of cheese,
Say “Hello” to passing fleas
And never wear your wellies in the house.

Tom Baker

From Never Wear Your Wellies In The House and other poems to make you laugh. (1981)


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