Monday, 26 September 2011

Au Pair Girls

Au pair is a brilliant term, isn't it? It immediately conjures up a dozen smutty punchlines - and 'Au Pair Girls' the movie uses every single one of them. The film follows the fortunes of four au pairs who arrive in the UK and immediately set out to show their tits to everyone and cop off.

There's a wide range of stereotypes on offer: a little Swede and a big Dane, both with an uninhibited approach to nudity and sex; a rather repressed German, and a Chinese lady who is skilled in the art of love but has sad eyes and a reflective nature.

They have no idea what they've got coming

Within minutes of arriving with their respective families they're causing havoc - the little Swede bouncing around in the shower in front of poor old Geoffrey Bayldon - the big Dane (played by UFO star Gabrielle Drake) driving Richard O'Sullivan wild with desire. The German girl goes from frump to fox in a nano-second but, after a unhappy one night stand with rock star Ricky Strange, has second thoughts about a promiscuous lifestyle. Nan, the Chinese girl, outdoes herself - seducing the immature son of the house on the first night, before packing her bags and moving on, like a sort of sexy Oriental Littlest Hobo.

It's a tasteful production from start to finish

Gabrielle Drake activates the 'phwoar' emotion

A lesson in love

He feels a right tit

In an ending that screams 'eighty minutes - that's long enough, isn't it?' the film abruptly sputters out with a nonsensical story so far trashing coda - the girls all leave their respective posts to go and live with a creepy sheik as hand maidens / sex slaves. It's quite an unpleasant thought. He's a really scary looking man.

Creepy Sheik
 Obviously written from the title down, 'Au Pair Girls' isn't all tits and bums, occasionally attempting an element of drama, and even injecting a fraction of poignancy into the otherwise knockabout proceedings. The ending undoes it all, of course, as the girls all sashay off to quite happily become, let's face it, prostitutes.

The film was directed by veteran jack of all trades, Val Guest. Val started out in the thirties working on Will Hay films, directed several Hammer films (including the first two 'Quatermass' adaptations), as well as a several episodes of TV shows like 'The Persuaders', 'Space 1999' and the 'Hammer House of Mystery & Suspense'. 'Au Pair Girls' is far from his finest hour, but worst was to come - he also wrote the scripts for 'Confessions Of A Window Cleaner' and Cannon and Ball vehicle 'The Boys In Blue' before, perhaps wisely, retiring.

Val Guest died in Palm Springs in 2006 aged 94, probably laughing and sitting on a stack of money, bless him.

1 comment:

  1. Val there's a man who's seen change in his (long) lifetime: from the orderly-but-silly world of Will Hay to the permissiveness of the 70s and beyond.