Tuesday, 19 July 2011

With These Hands...

Imagine 'Crossroads' with added nudity, sex, lesbianism and flagellation and, after you've finished feeling slightly queasy, you'll have 'With These Hands', a 1972 smut opera also known as 'Clinic Exclusive' or, getting straight to the point, 'Sex Clinic'.

Sexy Julie runs a health spa, but it's actually a front for perversion and blackmail. Only Julie knows this, so she's kept extraordinarily busy running from room to room performing for kinky cabinet ministers, flabby arsed captains of industry and Edith from 'Allo, Allo' (yes, she has a topless scene). The pattern is fairly straightforward: Julie flashes some flesh, rubs a few body parts and then asks for money to keep the business going. It's never explained why she does this, as she already seems to make a decent living, but she's a very mixed up and angry person with extraordinary hair.

Her hair is like that all the time, not just when she's surprised.
 The spa itself has some 'normal' clients, but they all act in really abnormal ways. I mean, suction cups on your breasts? Watching a friends undulating pudenda whilst flicking through a magazine? What sort of way is that to carry on?

Would you pay money for this?

It's impossible to capture in a still just how much wobble there is going on here.
 Julie uses pretty much every she meets, leaving a trail of broken hearts, suicides, bankruptcies and prison sentences in her wake. That said, she certainly knows how to throw a party.

A good time was had by all. 

Slightly Psychedelic.

Julie whips through another appointment.
 When she falls in love, however, everything changes. Is this the happy ending this deeply unhappy girl has always craved? Well, no, it isn't, although the way it works out may surprise you.

Car wash fail.
 An extraordinary film in many ways, 'With These Hands' is a fascinating hybrid of melodrama and soft core (there's no sex as such, just lots of nudity and breast nuzzling / grabbing). It was directed by Don Chaffey, a screen legend who directed episodes of virtually everything, including 'The Avengers' and 'The Prisoner', as well as films like 'Jason & The Argonauts' and 'One Million Years, BC'. Good work, Don, bloody good work.

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